Well...I talked with one of the youth leaders today at my church; and well really made me think. I love Maria; about as much as I know how to; and I still feel that its inadeqaute. One of the hardest things right now I know I have to do is this. I have to give this all up to God. If it ends; then its in God's will. I don't what that; but how can a slave question the will of its master? I want to be with Maria for as long as it would last. I hope she didnt take my comment as trying to point out her secret. I would never do that; it's just I'am rather quite insecure. Honestly; if I didnt know; I would of acted the same way. Anyway; Maria; once more please forgive me for this. Friday; when you looked at me; it was if you had pulled the trigger of a double barrel shotgun with it against my chest. Well...I'am going to go now..I'am all teary eyed and nervous.
Goodnight; Godbless.
Cut_x

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